Playing 'Sweet Nothing' on an old piano at an empty café
it hits different to write something that is not based on heartbreak
I was writing this at 7: 47 PM after I’ve just had hot lychee tea and fried tofu with chili sauce. At that very moment, the rain was so heavy and every raindrop was falling so hard making the roof rumbled so loud. Meanwhile, the river behind this place was roaring and the roars echoed as well.
Apparently, the café was empty and there was only two of us. Eh Eh and the person she loves. I don’t know how you would feel about being here but this café is homey and creepy at the same time. Just like every home I suppose except there are a lot of lanterns here with ancient decoration.
We came here to do our own things; I was the one who had to continue thesis and he as one who liked to read political book. Sharing laughs and sharing fried tempeh. One was waiting for the last piece and another one was willing to leave it.
As the rain got stronger even after for more than couple hours, he got sleepy and went up to the old piano place. The sound of piano couldn’t overwhelm the rain and river but it was soothing that gave me nostalgia even the piano is not very functional. I didn’t even know he can play the piano when I started to fall in love but things always have a way.
Back then, I used to come home from school every evening just to be welcomed by the sweet melody from the pianist next-door. It was pure destiny, thought a young naïve mind. Being in book community for couple years I notice how some readers judge self-help genre lovers. I can’t help but share paraphrased quote from ‘101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think’ that have changed my perspective: ‘not everything you feel something deeply means “it’s meant to be”’.
It didn’t matter how strong the feeling that seems like impossibly unreal and how intense the idea of being with certain person. If it is the castle in the air, it will be blown away by the wind itself. As long as you’re brave enough to take it, you can always start building the foundation of your own castle in real life I assure you.
Every girl has male role models in their life like they want to be with someone who has similar good traits with their father and such. I never had it. Didn’t have a chance. But now it made me think whether I have manifested my old dream as a prototype of ideal relationship that is happening to me right now. Most importantly, I have manifested right and chosen it well.
Sitting on the old piano chair together and I was playing nonsense, but everything just made my heart full. Listening to him playing ‘Sweet Nothing’ by Taylor Swift and singing ‘Everything Belongs’ by Thrice. It felt uncanny because this was what it felt like living in my own story that I wrote in 2019.
I would have cried a little less in the past if I knew I would get to live these little moments.
Those who can’t understand but micro-invalidate me that I’ve been out of touch with any kind of community and not being able to see my family for almost 4 years, I don’t mind at all even you suck.
Crying and sharing experiences can’t always make one feel better. But life is worth struggling and living.
Getting a hug from someone you adore with being said ‘I’m home now, you’re not alone’. Watching sunset together on a balcony when the wind carries a whiff of laundry smell and the faces turning into pink. Exchanging omelets for dinner that have been cooked individually. Waiting until midnight to open Christmas presents. Buying two pairs of reindeer socks in two different colors so I can mix-match with someone close to my heart.
God, it hit different to write something that is not based on heartbreak. Writing this also reminded me of this morning when I listened to Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift.
When life is sweet like this, you get to smile. When life is bitter again, you just go get some sugar.
It’s worth it. I promise.
be my sugar honey eh<33 more love letters pls